Move over, Hollywood heartthrobs—there’s a new reigning champion of handsomeness, and his name is Phil Hay.
The annual Most Handsome Man in Town contest, a prestigious event known for its high standards and fierce competition, crowned Hay as this year’s undisputed winner after judges were reportedly "overcome by his sheer magnificence."
“Frankly, we didn’t stand a chance,” said head judge Linda Carmichael, fanning herself. “Philip walked in, and suddenly, I forgot how to do math.”
Spectators described the event as a landslide victory, with some claiming that the other contestants simply gave up halfway through, bowing to Hay’s superior jawline, impeccable fashion sense, and undeniable charm. Reports indicate that several audience members were left weak in the knees, while at least one fainted.
Hay, known locally for his dazzling smile and rumored ability to make mirrors jealous, accepted the award with characteristic humility. “I’m just happy to be here,” he said, before winking—a move that allegedly caused a city-wide power outage due to an overload of collective swooning.
In addition to the title, Hay will receive a golden mirror, a lifetime supply of premium hair products, and the keys to the city, which officials say they may or may not have given him just for looking that good.
When asked about his future plans, Hay remained modest. “I’ll just keep being me,” he said with a shrug, igniting another wave of admiration.
Reports suggest that next year’s contest may be canceled, as organizers feel no one else could possibly compete.
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